April 2011
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Dad FTW (2 of 2)
The best April Fools joke I ever pulled was when I was maybe 7 or 8 years old. It must have fallen on a weekend that year, which would have made my parents more vulnerable to practical jokes.
It was just the classic “rubber band around the kitchen sink sprayer handle” trick. The premise is simple and brilliant. The sprayer is engaged because of the rubber band wrapped tightly around...
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Is that a cougar? (1 of 2)
For my entire childhood, my parents would pull the same April Fools’ Day joke on my brother and me. It was a truly lame trick, but I must admit that every year it worked (at least all the way through elementary school).
On April Fools’ Day, Mom would wake us up by calling us for breakfast. Like every other day, she’d hollar “Cheeri-eeri-eerios!” and we’d roll...
March 2011
113 posts
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Are yawns contagious via tumblr?
I have the yawns somethin’ fierce. I think some unknown supernatural force has sucked nearly all the oxygen out of my general vicinity.
That, or I am just tired.
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“When I go to events and concerts, there’s a lot of people that yell...”
– Zach Galifianakis
Apple shiners.
As someone at the beginning of her career, I find my greatest challenge is dealing with the jaded people who are at the end of theirs. I respect their years of experience, yet I am baffled by their inability to adapt to change. I suppose it’s inevitable - but I hope I never end up that way.
If someone asks you to try something in a new way and you automatically dismiss them, think about...
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Back-up.
I am pretty sure that I could be a killer back-up singer for any band if only I could do so while driving in my car… by myself.
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A good night's sleep.
I lay down on my bed at about 7:30 last night while BlackBerry messaging with my BFF. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4:00 am, thinking it was time to get up for work. When I realized what time it was and that it was Saturday I fell back asleep almost immediately due to great relief and happiness.
I woke up again at 8:00 am (feeling like a million bucks) and I tried to piece together...
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Drop drugs on the floor - fuck the five second rule.
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Accents.
I am terrible at doing impressions. Truly terrible.
Strangely, this doesn’t stop me from mimicking people constantly - it just means that every impression I do sounds like one of two muppets (generic male muppet or generic female muppet).
I am particularly terrible at doing accents. Yet, I almost always give it try. Just now I really bit off more that I could chew by attempting to do a...
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Knee update.
Knees are bullshit.
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“I hate exclamation points. They are… they are… somewhat ejaculatory.”
– A co-worker (while editing a poorly written letter)
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The Peanut Butter Solution.
I just remembered this movie, out of the blue. It’s a terrible and awesome French-Canadian family film from the 80s. It is very badly dubbed.
In the film, the “peanut butter solution” is a magical hair growth formula made from peanut butter.
There is one scene I remember more vividly than any other. Spoiler alert: One of the kids puts some of the peanut butter down his pants...
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I just read this.
If you have not yet read it, I recommend that you do.
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Alcohol may have been a factor.
[Just now, after observing Nick walk into the bathroom fully clothed and instantly walk out wearing only swim trunks, carrying his clothes in a perfectly folded pile]
Me: [Double take] Whaaat!? Holy hell. How did you do that so fast? You’re like Superman in a telephone booth!
Nick: Jesus. All I did was take off my pants and put on shorts. It’s not rocket surgery.
